A Follower or a Leader?

Which would you rather be- a follower or a leader?
How many leaders set out to be leaders or followers set out to be a follower?

Being a follower, at worst evokes imagery such as sheep being herded. It implies one is potentially easily directed, following a path created by someone else and foregoing being in charge of one’s own direction.....
Leader implies someone in front-someone others are following. But how many leaders aren’t followers themselves? And does following have to be from behind or leading need be from the front?

Which would you rather do: lead a follower or follow a leader? Why?

Genuine leaders don’t lead to have a following, they follow their own lead to build a better future-for themselves, for other people , for their companies, their communities and/or for humanity.

"Good" leaders are change agents-acting for positive change, like the match that ignites a candle’s flame spreading light & warmth. Wherever the candle may move, the flame remains in the centre-neither in front nor behind.

Yesterday’s hold on Tomorrow’s future

Recently I’ve been getting some quotes for roller blinds for windows in our new house. Although drawn to the range of light-weight sun-filters, which were far more interesting, with great textures and variations and aesthetically pleasing; I resorted to choosing the least boring of the practical, heavier blockers- for keeping in heat and providing complete privacy at nights.
You may wonder what the connection is between the title and roller blinds...but bear with me....

Our past shapes us, who we are and how our role evolves within the world. That’s partly to do with the roles and partly with what we see the world as/the world we see. My world is the same as yours, but it isn’t-I will experience it differently to you. What I do with my time in this world will become my reality. My reality is sometimes made up of shutting out realities. But how much of it is OK to shut out before the view is so distorted that it no longer represents the world that exists? The reality I experience is relative to the filtering I extend across the vista of the world that then becomes ‘my world’.

How much we see is not just dependent on the blinds we use, but the number of windows there are, their sizes, and their orientation to the outside. Then it’s to do with how fine are the blinds that shelter the windows: sun-filter or block-out?

A blind is a blind- it’ll take care not only of how much we shut out but also of how much gets shut in!

Conscience or unconscience?

Ok-I know there is no such word as unconscience (even MS spell-check is highlighting it as I write!), but it just became a word and I’d like to use it to describe what it may feel like when we don’t listen to our conscience.
What a waste if our conscience is there to serve no real purpose.

What is conscience anyway? Is it a ‘gut feel’, is it the pressure of moral teachings from our youth displaying it’s inbuilt requirement for obedience as we grow older? Or is it some weird inner voice we aren’t supposed to admit to or pay too much attention to?

Well- I have respect for my conscience, as it has on numerous occasions known well before me what is likely to befall and I have more and more taken heed of its presence. No-I am not talking about intuition or psychic powers. This is listening to your inner voice-maybe this is the only true connection that remains with ourselves-the real us. We can find ourselves sometimes conflicted, going ‘against our own grain’-it feels uncomfortable, we may even get irritated with life in general and not know why. I wonder if this is a representation of being unconscience- where the inner voice and the external voice are out of synch?

Maybe our conscience is there to help us remain connected with ourselves and as in my previous blog-maybe this is why we may lose ourselves in the journey of life. We may even inadvertently slowly tune out of listening to our conscience-until it retires to an unloved and undervalued ‘observer’ status in our lives, instead of ‘contributor’.

The more I listen out for that inner voice, the more at ease I feel with what it tries to tell me. It becomes a consideration in my decision making process rather than the decider-and a valuable contributor for checking-in with myself. I even consciously take time to ‘listen’/ ask the inner voice- my conscience, for its voice. When did you last listen to yours? Could you recognise it if it spoke up, would it be shut down like a naughty interruptive child or are you willing to feel its presence and give it a place in your life?

Would you like to live a life of conscience or unconscience?

Dirt on the organisational landscape: politics or leaders behaving badly?

I had the pleasure of attending some lectures when at university which were run by Dr. Polly Parker a few years back, that opened my eyes to something I had up until then only seen 1 way all my life: that organisational politics was dirty and dangerous and I wasn’t going to play!

Maybe it was the thought of playing in a sandpit full of snakes amongst rules I was too naive to understand, or that I abhorred the types of people I saw abusing their positional power to exercise control and decision making out of the hands of those impacted to further their own personal and professional agendas. Firm, judgemental views these were- and I held them with much pride and vigour.

Then her words rang out like a foreign yet believable assurance; that there was a natural role and place for politics-anywhere and everywhere where resources were scarce and people had to influence in order to secure their share.

So, why then had ‘politics’ been given a bad name? Was it the game or the rules of engagement being distorted to suit those taking short cuts to drive their own outcomes, that was to blame?

If influencing is the undercarriage of politics, then what is going wrong? Influencing is a skill we all develop and need to use but when it veers to the dark side-then who is there to call it ‘dark’? At what point does grey turn to black? Influence turn into manipulation?

Can you tell the dark political players from the influencers? How? If you took away titles, positions- how much sway would they retain to obtain people’s backing? How ‘successful’ would they remain working outside of a master-servant relationship?

There are those we follow more out of the fear of getting on their wrong side-we take on role of servant and play the game. But if you stripped away their role and positional level- you may treat them with the disdain you really felt. Are those on the dark side just leaders behaving badly or managers on a power trip or children who were never taught any different? How many are there out there? Are you one of them?

The genuine influencer is one who outside of title, power and position manages to obtain support and a following because their cause justifies admiration and their rules of engagement engender trust.

Where do you (go to) find yourself?

Maybe it’s a sign of being in mid-life, but I have recently started to find/rediscover myself. It sounds such a strange thing but I wonder how many of us grow up ‘adapting’ ourselves into people/roles that deliver us with that human need for acceptance and love.
Parents, friends, colleagues don’t mean to impose conditions on us for feeling accepted, wanted and loved-yet most human beings manoeuvre themselves for spots that provide this safety and human need. This learned behaviour takes over the way we live life and along the way-many of us lose ourselves,some forever.

In contrast-notice how often/infrequently you come across people who stand out for being ‘comfortable in their own skin’, or ‘grounded’....like the Mandela’s, Obama’s etc. They don’t have to be high profile, public figures-we find these Obama’s amongst us in our day to day lives too-those we secretly envy or openly admire for this trait.

So- how have I found myself rediscovering myself? ....it’s through being a bit more internally aware of what makes me feel good about myself and what seems more foreign. Gravitating towards and acknowledging the need I have to attend to and live by what I believe in and am- is not just liberating and powerful (giver of strength and energy as opposed to ‘power’: authority), but insightful and self-fulfilling too. Being in touch with oneself and true to oneself is freedom at its most primal level.

I have a friend who has fulfilled the role of good daughter, wife, friend, mother etc etc. She is unaware of the reason she experiences a vacuum inside, the lost person within-who doesn’t even know to search for themself. The mirror they see themselves in is always someone else’s-never their own.
That is what I have recently come up in front of-my own mirror. I don’t yet see everything clearly, I don’t necessarily like everything I see, but where I find myself is-in front of it more often and regularly and every time I come away more comfortable knowing I know myself a bit more.

Lead from where you find yourself

"Lead from where you find yourself" has double meaning-both of which are significant for me as I navigate the role of 'consultant' partnering with various organisations. One exists at an internal, micro level-while the other represents the macro view.

1. Relates to our ability to lead from which ever place/role/position we find ourselves. There is a sphere of influence we have based on the choices we make, that can create the mood and envrionment for improvement

• People can lead from anywhere. Wherever your place in the world-you can lead from there

2. Relates to the circumstances in which we are operating/our environment. Frustrations arise when we expect or hope for things to be in a better condition than we find them. Acknowledging and accepting this as the starting point allows the journey to flow forwards.

• Whatever the world is like at your place- start to lead it from whatever state you have found it in

I have recently discovered the meaning and significance of this and this has given me a degree of choice and freedom to lead with new meaning and value.